Greek Telly

During the winter on this island, especially during the last month as my fellow islanders will attest to, the weather can result in one staying indoors longer than one would normally like to. That has resulted in many members of the ex-pat and indigenous community going bonkers, as you’ll soon discover if you decide to visit these shores. Without doubt, Symi is the prettiest insane asylum in the world.

The cure for WIFI (Winter Island Fecking Insanity) is television. Surprisingly, Greek telly isn’t that bad for English speakers. This is in no small part due to the Star Channel which shows recent movies in English (with Greek subtitles) at 9.00 most nights. And you’ll find a few other channels like Alter and Alpha do the same with less frequency. In fact, Greek TV has RTE beaten hands down most nights of the week – it doesn’t have Batchelors Walk!

However, those god-awful mind-washing American mini-series’ like Lost, Prison Break and CBIS or IBS, or whatever it’s called, are becoming more and more prevalent, which probably accounts from the increasing Americanisation of this, like many other rural populations throughout the world. Many Greeks tend to learn their English from the TV, so you’ll find many with a mid-atlantic drawl. Very, very few, I’ve discovered speak with a north Dublin accent.

More disturbing though, was yesterday morning when I discovered the missus, hypnotically mesmerised with an open-mouthed grin at the overblown sights and sounds of Oprah discussing plastic surgery while the kids’ dinner burned away happily on the stove. Oprah is, without doubt, the Antichrist.

The other cool thing about Greek telly is that there is no TV licence. You pay a small tax on your electricity bill instead, so you don’t have to go forking out €150 in one month or whatever it is in Ireland at the moment, and even on a small remote island such as this you can get twice as many channels as in Ireland without having to resort to buying a cable/satellite service. All that’s required is a small investment in a decent aerial.

What’s more, the ads are great craic. Who could fail to laugh at the Greek dressed as an upper class English Huntsman, with donkey in tow, asking the leader of the hunt how he thought Arsenal would fare this year? Certainly not me when a fellow shopper in the supermarket noting that I was an English speaker started mimicking the ad.

They would be much more enjoyable if the ad break didn’t last as long as series’ 1 to 4 of Lost?